Just ended up watching 500 days of summer(again!) and I thought about the estranged love stories me and my boys have been through. Most of them lasted for 3 months or so, where the boy met the girl, fell madly in love with all her shenanigans, profile pictures and  intense quotes on love and happiness! Temporarily, we  forgot that the month of March is not about increments, bonuses and promotions. It was all about love.

Half asleep, both would talk to each other, bombarding each other’s inbox with emojis on love and togetherness. The first month would go on like  this. We would happily keep our work commitments aside, realizing that she is the only one, that the client will always crib even if we make him earn a zillion dollars(which we can never do practically…but love helps you make profound statements anyhow.)

After a month, when you know even her favorite cartoon characters, let alone her favorite destinations and she knows about all your exes more than you, you both reach the saturation point. Now the nagging begins. You do not smell better anymore, your face and her hair looks like shit and your work performance is good enough to get you kicked out of the cubicle!

The cellphone now looks like Satan,giving you a taste of your private hell every now and then. Apart from that, whenever you meet your boys, the only thing you talk over a pint are about the issues you and your girl are going through.Both you and your brah are hell bent over the fact that their relationship is somehow more complicated than yours.

Just like the movie, you start hating everything about her. You rush towards Taylor Swift, Green Day and the chauvinist movies for help. You proclaim that you do not understand women and make all those cliched, profound, rapper like statements about how a woman can be bad for your health more than a packet of Gudang Garam. 

You realize that all this time, this girl had a BFF (who was either hitting on you or hates you because you took the girl away from her) who has been guiding her to make the calculative moves in order to manipulate your psyche! That midget, uglier and self-proclaimed counterpart of hers is your worse enemy. But then you tell yourself that there is a possibility that this is not how the things are (even though you know it is!)

Finally, its time! You both realize that it is not working out. She is a bitch and you are a jealous bearded scumbag not meant for her. Both of you want to kill each other but then realize to part your own ways without creating any ruckus. You secretly desire to punch her female adviser in her face and break her nose, but then you don’t want the feminists to make your life even more miserable, so you just let it go.

It is done now. One day you do try to reconcile with her, only to realize that she has blocked you from all her social networking accounts. You curse yourself again, proclaiming that you lack self control and remind yourself again that she is a bitch!

Now time for drinks.Only this time, the bar look better, the scotch tastes nicer and you decide to enjoy the drink instead of gulping it down. You do not get drunk, but feel a bit tipsy!

Enter Miss Autumn…

The world will call you a philanderer, a lecher and a wimp,but, you don’t give a flying fuck. You buy her a drink, sing maybe on the Karaoke with her and maybe exchange numbers. You forget about the breakup and tell yourself that this girl is different. You tell yourself that 500 days of Summer is all bullshit and you have found the real love this time.

The clock has struck 12, time for another round. Rest as they say is misery!





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