Featured · humor

So what is Better than the new iphone?

We all have those sympatholics posting all those weird status updates, sad poems and those pathetic cheesy memes describing how betrayed they feel from the world.

They proclaim having tonnes of mood swings for apparent no reason, will like to sound deep on human relations and when you ask them that why the heck they are  so upset, their answer would be something like this-

Well who cares, lets not talk about it…

The fact is that these people are nothing more than the attention seeking whores! Yep you heard it right. So why they actually do it? Allow me to explain…

Most of these pain in the ass sort of people have nothing to do. They have a really mundane job, are highly noncompetitive and their best achievement so far have been winning that sack race in their kindergarten! You obviously cannot expect to discuss Tolstoy’s work with them (unless it has been made into a motion picture) and the best way to offend them is to talk about the latest political happenings. They have been too buy nursing their imaginary wounds while Donald Trump was proclaiming to make America great again…

When you are not talented enough, beautiful enough and rich enough and you are boring as hell, the only thing you can do is to gather sympathy and boom you are back in the game.

In case you still do not believe me, look at all the hotshot celebs who gathered accolades for being open about their mental illnesses! It will not be surprising if this whole mental illness is actually the brainchild of their PR Team in order to boost their Klout Score.  You can yourself do a random analysis of their Instagram before and after such revelations and maybe after that you may appreciate my honesty!

I think exposing your vulnerabilities and using it to your own advantage is the lowest thing you can ever do. That just makes a mockery of many other people who are actually being afflicted with these serious disorders.

So here we go, having an imaginary mental illness is cooler than having a new iphone. You can flaunt it, get more likes on it and satiate your hunger to be in the limelight for apparent no reason.

Keep posting about your breakups, make sure you tell the world that you are okay without that guy/girl. Then post again about those so called moments after a gap a 24 hours. Repeat this cycle to make sure that you get that Bipolar tag. Make it a point to accept the friend requests of every anonymous creepy looking person who will like your every fucking status update. Trust me, it helps!

Meanwhile do post another picture of yours in glares,wearing your newest clothes that you bought from the flash sale, preferably at the backdrop of an ocean so that you can pretend to sound deep when you quote William Wordsworth along with that perfectly made up intellectual look! You can use an iphone for that 😉



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